Amber: Probably know better as the Ginger Ninja. Has an insatiable lust for hot men that are easy and borderline illiterate… at times her self-absorbed personality can throw off the most unsuspecting victim.. but don’t let that fool you, her super massive girly parts will draw you in, and just when she has you within reach; she takes he super massive girly parts and her fiery gingerness and beats you with a turkey… that’s rite a effin turkey!
The Rod: Although he looks like a fun sized Dwayne Johnson and walks with a swag in his step. The Rod is not all that he appears to be, for some reason he is very insecure and needs the approval of others. He always claims to be right but if there is no arguement (All I do is Win!!!) against his own then I guess he probably is. He has a need to always be in a state of intoxication because for some reason he performs better in that state of mind.
Ginger: Rod’s GF, and Pin-up-girl. Although her name does not describe her physical description in any way, she is definitely crazier than any other ginger out there. With her cream white skin and long black hair she is definitely one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Yong and beautiful as she is, you would never know she drinks like a fish and smokes half a pack a day. Addicted to all life vises and crams, baby crazy and giggly. When Ginger enters the room with that swagger everyone stops to take notice. She sits anywhere like she is on a thrown. Italian Stalin in women form. We are still trying to figure out how Rod laded her. No matter, she is slowly turning into his Puerto Rican Princess.
Jack Hammer: A disgruntled Irish/English born American, that’s just a drinking problem waiting to happen… OH WAIT!! It already did! Don’t let his skinny exterior fool you, he’s built like a brick shit house and loves a good fight. Where does he get all his manly strength from you may ask?? Well.. ever seen his beard? It makes Chuck Norris’s beard look like a clump of pubes. But don’t let his rugged good looks fool you, at heart hes just another diabetic hockey player looking for love in all the wrong places… like last week in the penalty box.. or last month in the womens room at a BK… Word To Ya Motha B*tches! I’m gonna wrangle on out of here.
Chad Crankshaft: Is an international man of mystery… cuz no one knows what he does… one day hes got his arm balls deep in a truck and then the next he’s trying to find a fish and f*** its brains out. Some have called Chad “Crazy”, “Ted Nugent Crazy”, “A sexual dynamo, with untapped potential”… but we all know this 6 foot something giant just wants nothing more then to stick his crankshaft in your receptor and drive you till you cant even walk straight. So ladies, next time your walking though an Auto Shop, Bass Pro Shop, or even a 7/11 better be ready for Chad Crankshaft!
Bambi: Don’t let her name fool you, she no deer, although she would probably love to be mounted and stuffed. A dark haired vixen with a fierce drive that would even make any common Bavarian whore jealous. Don’t let her skinny rail like disposition fool you… this sweet little vixen has a bite all of her own, proceed with caution… you may get wet… not you, Mary Poppins over there.